Appointment with Death - Agatha Christie Choose Your Own Adventure!

As a gay man, you have many tasks to accomplish in the course of a normal day. It is best to keep an appointment diary at hand, at all times.

6:00am Gym

8:00am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)

9:00am Hair Appointment

10:00am Shopping (Macy's or Nordstrom's)

11:30am Leisurely al fresco Brunch

(1) assume complete control of all U.S. Federal, state, and local governments, as well as all other national governments
(2) destroy all healthy marriages
(3) replace all school teachers K-12 with militant homosexuals who seek to recruit children for their homosexual lifestyle
(4) bulldoze all places of worship
(5) seize control of internet and other media
(6) be utterly fabulous

3:00pm Beauty treatment for facial wrinkles from the stresses of world conquest, followed by aromatherapy

4:00pm Cocktails

5:00pm Light Dinner (soup, salad with arugula and balsamic vinaigrette, Chardonnay)

8:00pm Theatre

10:00pm Cocktails in charming neighborhood bistro

12:00am Bed (du jour)

If you think gay people are disgusting and you’d rather do a keg stand, choose

If you enjoy the company of straight women, the kind that look at you adoringly but are not exactly your type, the kind who treasure your taste, style, and ability to dance shirtless at circuit parties, then choose