The Gods of Mars - Edgar Rice Burroughs the further adventures of John Carter on Barsoom!

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John Carter returns to Mars after a mysterious 10-year absence! he appears in the vale of the Plant Men and the White Apes! you better run, John Carter, run! uh oh, John you are running right into the clifftop lair of the dreaded White Men of Mars! and then into the subterranean lair of the dreaded Black Men of Mars! think fast and carry a big sword, John Carter!

John Carter wears an excited yet contemptuous expression while slaughtering his enemies! he's a man's man! he laughs at danger then runs right towards it! and yet he has no problem shedding tears at the thought of women and children in danger! awww!

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the White Men of Mars are cannibalistic theocrats who eat the Red and Green Men! they think they are better than everyone else and so they don't mind eating "lower life forms"! jerks! apparently their genetic heritage is so fucked that the men are all frail and can't even grow hair on their heads - so they have to wear wigs! ha, ha! ugly, wimpy cannibalistic White Men! John Carter spends some time with a princess of the White Men named Phaidor, but she turns out to be a bloodthirsty bitch!

the Black Men of Mars are cannibalistic theocrats who eat the White Men and kidnap White Women to turn into slaves! they worship an old bat who calls herself the Goddess Issus! i think she is spelling that incorrectly! John Carter describes the Black Men as having features that are "handsome in the extreme" and says "their bodies are divine"! he practically swoons while gazing at the tableau of a bunch of them hanging around in nothing much except beautiful jeweled harnesses! he notes that it may seem odd for a Southerner to think that the Black Men's ebony skin "adds to rather than detracts from their marvellous beauty"! um, awkward comment!

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John Carter makes two new friends! Thuvia the Red Maid, who loves him so much she wants to be his slave! and Xodor the Black Pirate who is pure awesomeness and the best character!

John Carter has a 10-year old son! his name is Cathoris! that name sounds like some kind of illness to me! yuck! bad name!

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Edgar Rice Burroughs got a little giddy while writing this one! a little over-the-top! it made me snicker a bit! purple pulp prose goes POP! POP! POP! but still, it was enjoyable!

Edgar Rice Burroughs must have really hated organized religion! he makes a point of showing how the religion of the Red Men and the Green Men is an utter sham! Phaidor describes her White religion and it is totally repulsive and offensive and moronic! Xodor describes his Black religion and it is totally absurd and bizarre like out of some classic pulp scifi novel!

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the depiction of the complex and layered and fascinatingly intertwined faiths of Barsoom was the best part of the novel for me! Burroughs sure had an axe to grind and i loved watching him grind it! grind, Edgar, grind!