Devil of the Highlands - Lynsay Sands These characters were just too dumb to hate. I thought the opening of this book was the fucking best opening of a book ever, and Lynsay Sands is another author on my must-buy list. It doesn't seem to matter whether it's a paranormal or a historical, her stories have humor and heart and leave me feeling good when I'm done. Standing room only on the train, heat index already at 115, nauseous service dog, and this book. Ok I'm done with this book and let me tell you it's funny, exciting, and has lots of love. Here is a summery of the book enjoy.

Evelinde is promised to "The Devil of Donnachaidh" and all she has heard about him are EXTREMELY horrible things. Have you ever had your nipple sucked accidentally? Have you ever sucked someone's nipple accidentally? Cullen is no dummy and his instant attraction to Evelinde causes him to move quickly to get her out from under her stepmother. He doesn't talk much, but he does grunt and growl A LOT. Scottish is an awesome language. "It's uncanny," said a senior researcher, speaking under condition of anonymity, they have improbably good sex like a couple of blow-up dolls. I like sex scenes. The great thing about them is tha they are usually the parts of the book that it opens to naturally, because when you're rubbing one out you tend to open the book a little wider. So you go looking for the parts of a library book that open easily, like Evelinde's womanhood. I laughed so hard I had to wash my face and can't fathom obvious-to-the-village-idiot type ideas like how a person might want a change of clothes when moving to a new home or that maybe you should stick around to introduce your new wife to your family. Or talk to her, ever.

Lots of humor, lots of hot lovemaking, and a happily ever after filled with love. I enjoyed Cullen and Evelinde immensely. Mostly because there was no contrived plot device to keep them apart - this book cares more about the woman’s orgasms than a lot of porn I’ve seen, and people who are forced into other marriages, they are just fucked. Each of the main character's learn a little something important about the other and all the miscommunications that they had had in the not so distant past are easier to understand. But don’t these people know there’s so much better porn out there? Whiskey tango foxtrot?

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my sincere apologies, Esteemed Literary Group. i know this was an assignment that i should have completed. i should have read this purely as a lark, and enjoyed the hilarious absurdity of it all. or i could have gotten my pretentioso on, and looked at it from a political perspective, deconstructing its hilarious gender politics. but i just couldn't do it, any of it, none of it. i couldn't finish this one. i...just...could...not...do...it. let's pick a better book for the next go-round! although i suppose "better" is purely subjective.

and so i have presented to you my very first Drunken Review in the form of a very special Review Mash-Up. Guess the Reviewers! i can take no credit for a single phrase above the italics, i just don't have it in me now, and i feel it's time that other reviewers work for me! those were some good pisco sours i had tonight. the ceviche and those beef heart skewers were pretty tasty too. woot!


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